Balancing the Scales of Equality

Balancing the Scales of Equality

            While developing the Constitution of the United States, the document that is the cornerstone of American life, the Founding Fathers proved themselves to be true visionaries.  This document, through the hundreds of years since its origination, has been used to develop, or re-define, the laws that govern this great land.  There have also been instances where this document has been used to force change, and these changes have made limitless impacts upon the landscape of modern America.  This change has not been accomplished, however, without struggle, and it is within these struggles that the formation of policies to ensure equal rights for all Americans has occurred.  With each battle for equal rights there is another looming on the horizon, and the most recent campaign is the fight for marriage equality.  Some are calling this the “new civil rights movement.” The right to marry the person that one loves is the right of every citizen.  Most dissenters disagree based on religious views, for others it is about tradition, but marriage to the person of one’s choice is protected by this time-honored document that has the temerity to propose that all Americans are ensured the right of the "pursuit of happiness."

            Religion dates back to the beginning of time, as does marriage. Many people argue that gay marriage goes against the “biblical definition” of marriage, but this argument defeats itself because most marriages in biblical times consisted of numerous wives and concubines. Concubines were basically sex slaves. This behavior, in present times, is illegal and grounds for divorce. Other religious zealots declare that homosexuality is an abomination. Upon deeper study of the scriptures, it is quickly found that if one eats pork, shellfish, or wears cotton blend clothes then they too are an abomination. These biblical facts are easily overlooked due to the fact that most Americans have consumed shrimp or bacon while wearing an abominable t-shirt.

             Traditionally, marriage has been between a man and a woman, but marriage is about love, not gender. It is this love that is the foundation of marriage.  Two people who genuinely love one another should have the opportunity to solidify that love with a legal commitment. Anyone who has ever truly loved someone knows that love is blind. Love sees no flaw, hears no wrong, and knows no gender. Love has the ability to not only cross the lines of tradition, but to create new traditions as well. Love is the greatest tradition of all.

            Marriage is not a privilege; it is a legal right. According to the Constitution, “all men are created equal, and they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, and among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” The argument of marriage equality should end right there, but it does not. Somehow people think that if a person is gay then they no longer fall into the “all men are created equal” category, and they no longer have the right to the “pursuit of happiness.” These unalienable rights, which literally means not separated or taken away, are not applicable to gay couples. This is an oxymoron. It is unconstitutional to deny anyone, gay or straight, the right to marry the person whom they choose.

            Marriage is a beautiful thing regardless of the genders represented. It showcases two people who are in love joining their lives together. Not only is marriage beautifully symbolic, but it also binds two people together legally. It is the legal contract, not the religious ritual that makes it possible for someone to be entitled to his or her spouse’s Social Security benefits along with other legal rights. It is not about gay marriage or straight. It is simply about equality. Although some States have legalized gay marriage, it is still not recognized federally. This tips the scales of equality, and leaves gay couples “equal but separate.” It is time for a change. It is time to balance the scales of equality, and go back to the traditions of this Country’s foundation, and live according to the Constitution. 

Just Bb

Living/dying....what are you doing?

Life... is a gift.
Life...is a story
Life...like everything else has a beginning and an end.

Today, I sat in a service and I listened to a minister speak on life...and death. She spoke on the importance of living in such a way that dying would be easy. I sat there and I listened intently, as she talked about "unpacking" for our final act of living...How we must constantly empty the preverbal "baggage' of our lives so that we can live a life that death will not cut short... A life that will be so fully "lived" that death will be a time to celebrate, not mourn... Life is a delicate balancing act...letting go of what is hurtful, and holding onto what is fortifying and fulfilling.

How do we accomplish this...this perfect balance? This place of peace?....this place of forgiveness? Forgiving not only others, but ourselves?

 I suppose we must figure out (within ourselves) what exactly is important.

What is it that I will allow in my space...my mind... OR...my heart....AND of what will I simply LET GO? I think, today, that I had a revelation! If it is not fulfilling, or endearing, or just plain joyful then it just doesn't deserve my time, my thoughts, or my emotions.

If it isn't something that I would want in my heart, my mind, or my space then I should NEVER present it to someone else's heart, mind or space.

Life is simple....Live like you're dying...treat others as if they were and LOVE like there's no tomorrow...for either of you.

Why do we complicate things with senseless, worthless, futile, insignificant misery??? When LOVE, friendship, joy, happiness, peace, and ALL the wonderful things that this life has to offer are available...if only we will choose them?

Just Bb

"I am not living/dying so that my life pleases you or yours....I must live/die a life that lives up to my own expectations and dreams....."

POOF....You're NOT fooling me

I am fascinated by magicians; they have an amazing ability to trick your mind into seeing one thing while they do another. This is called... cognitive illusion. These illusions work because they separate perception from reality. Magicians have learned how to manipulate the mind through, what is called, diversion. They divert your attention, so that all your energy is focused away from what they are doing. Basically, you are perceiving one thing, while in reality, they are doing another. For instance, they point out the beautiful woman, while they are preparing their deception right before your eyes. Abracadabra!!!

Diversion...it means to divert something, to deviate..to draw attention elsewhere. Diversion is what makes magic work.  LOOK over there so that you can't see what I'm doing...It's a manipulation of your mind, used to, ultimately, deceive or trick you!

 Throughout my life, I have learned to listen intently to people; to what they say, and don't say. Sometimes people say so much more about themselves than they even realize. I have always said that people tell on themselves if you will only listen, and diversion is an example of that. I have discovered that when someone displays my faults, or the faults of others they are simply "diverting" attention.  Magicians have mastered this art and they use it to entertain people.  Thieves use it to pick your pocket. But your average Joes...well your average Joes use the same technique to remove the spotlight from themselves! (Presto, Chango....)

Diversion is also used as damage control....Make them look bad before the truth about me can come out. Abracadabra!!!

Separation of perception and reality! 

Master manipulation! 

The truth is that we have all pulled this trick from our hats at one point or another, kind of like Grandpa,  who used to walk around pulling quarters from behind your ears...BUT others are like David Copperfield.... "Illusionist Extraordinair!"  

Always remember that the ones who put others' faults on display are probably diverting your attention from their own wrongdoings.  See beyond the deceptions find see the truth...it's right before your eyes 

YOU'RE NOT FOOLIN' ME

Just Bb

Sandy Hook Hoax....seriously

I am utterly appalled by the very idea that someone would even suggest that the Sandy Hook  tragedy is a conspiracy! I cannot believe that people would stoop so low as to accuse these families, the one's whose children have been slaughtered, of acting. I cannot imagine how they must feel as their fellow American's are discounting what happened by creating a conspiracy theory.... HOW SELFISH!

I think it's pretty twisted that someone would concoct such a preposterous story, just so they could accuse our President and try to protect their right to carry an assault rifle....the very weapon that, IN REALITY, cut these children in half. I see all these people posting videos and articles about the "Sandy Hook Hoax" and I can't help but wonder how they would feel if it were their child that had just been gunned down, and the country that they love and call home, is accusing them of lying!

I am losing faith in my fellow Americans...I remember when going to the county fair and hopping on the ferris wheel was enough, but these days EVERYONE wants the thrill of hopping on these ludicrous bandwagons! Come on guys....USE your head...THINK this through!!! If the government wanted to take away our guns THEY WOULD!! They don't need to create some tragedy to do that, and IF they did....you common Joe's would NEVER figure it out!

Our President CLEARLY stated, in his press release, that our right to bear arms WOULD BE PROTECTED! This is simply about military style weapons that OBVIOUSLY need to be regulated...that is all. THE CAR you drive, my friend, is regulated....you cannot legally put a HIGH POWERED vehicle on the street...can you? Do you know why? BECAUSE THEY'RE DANGEROUS....

--Side note: About those pictures with one of the children and our president....uhmmm this is the computer age, and there is this thing called  "photoshop"

Just Bb

Temporary Angels--Pseudo Heroes

Throughout my life I have experienced many up and downs. Some of these shaky occasions occurred  in my own life but many in the lives of others. Being a minister for nearly a decade I have walked through some very rough times with a lot of people.  I have witnessed many acts of heroism and charity but I also watched others who would capitalize on the tragedies of others, I tagged these people "temporary angels."They live for those "ups" or those "downs", especially the downs, in the lives of others. They feast on people's misery, consuming it as if it were their own. 

These people rush into the situation (da-da-da-da super hero music) and appear to be a knight in shining armor...they are right by your side, doting over you, the victim of life's tragic realities.  They pretend that they are grieving, and more often than not, they barely know you, if at all. They put on a big show in front of others pirating attention, hoping that they can gain the same sympathies given to you. 

These pseudo heroes also feed off of knowing the details of your tragedy. They seem to pamper and pet you, but the truth is that they are gathering information. They love to go and brag about everything they know and all they've done for you, and the more intimate the detail the more it is coveted by these busybodies....AKA "gossips, blatherers, babblers and back-biters"

I suppose that their life is so void of...well.. LIFE... that they feel the need to feel important. They don't care that they gain "relevance" at the expense of your life's dilemma. No matter the reason, these people can and will cause you harm, if they get the chance, so just beware of these shallow clandestines. They can be very helpful, but if they get what they're looking for, fame--attention--THE SPOTLIGHT, it can prove to be very hurtful to you. 

These "temporary angels" light on you as soon as tragedy strikes in your life... they make a grand entrance displaying their wings and good deeds, but as soon as there is no more glamor to be had they depart as quickly as they came.  You know who the authentic angels are in your life, those are the ones that have always been there for you and will stay even when your life has plateaued. So cherish those and just allow the temps to come in and serve you during your time of need....just remember NOT to "let them in" 

Just Bb

Who The Hell are "THEY" Anyway!

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am constantly amazed and appalled by people who are continuously trying to change others. "THEY" have developed a mold that "THEY" consider to be respectable and acceptable. "THEY" are always giving others advise from their book of wisdom, quoting verses that always start with, "THEY say"....You know what I'm talking about... "THEY" walk up to you and say, with a concerned look, "You probably shouldn't do that...you KNOW what 'THEY' say" [insert pseudo wisdom...pulled straight from their....uh gluteus maximus] .  I just have one question...Who the hell are "THEY" anyway? AND why do "THEY" keep telling me to live my life according to "THEIR" standards BLAH!

Who made "THEY" the all knowing...I thought only Google knew everything!

PLEASE people!! LIVE and let LIVE...it's simple really! Show some tolerance for those that aren't as "perfect" as you!

I am a firm believer that we should live our lives as we see fit, according to our own convictions and credence and we should in turn give every other human the same liberties. The truth is, we have no place in the middle of someone else's life...unless of course they invite us in and ask for our advice, which they may or may not heed.

I am really sick of a society that is constantly trying to FORCE everyone to live by "THEIR" standards and beliefs. "THEY" are the one's that bully others with "THEIR" opinions, "THEIR" beliefs, or "THEIR" perceptions.

When I think of these people I get a visual of a steelworker...a strong man tirelessly beating a piece of metal that he has placed in a fire so hot that it has caused the metal to be manipulated and molded by force. This metal worker will pound and grind until the steel succumbs and becomes exactly what he wants it to be....he's relentless....This is who "THEY" are... The brow beaters, the back breakers, the holier than "THOUs"

I'm simply saying that if "THEY"were omniscient (that's all knowing to "THOSE" that didn't know) "THEY" would know to mind "THEIR" own business and stop pandering to the masses through social media; dropping pearls of wisdom and issuing unsolicited sage advise....

In LAYMAN'S terms ......Please keep your "THEY's" to yourself

Thank you...
Sincerely
Bb

My son, daughter, sister, brother, friend...is gay

Accepting my sexuality and coming out has been the most liberating experience of my life while simultaneously proving to be the most devastating. I will never forget the fears that were choking the life out of me as I began to contemplate opening the door to the closet that I had been hidden in for so long. I first had to break free from the chains of religion and this, next to my decision to accept Jesus Christ, was the most emancipating move I could ever make. It was exhilarating to have finally met someone for whom I was willing to step out of this vault that had become the tomb in which I had buried my identity.

I considered telling those closest to me, I was convinced that they would, after the initial shock, accept me and maybe even be happy for me, but this was not the case. When I walked out of the closet they walked out of my life....I don't understand this, I'm not a different person, the only difference is that they know me better.

I have heard many people say, "Brandiilyne is not who she used to be...she has changed." But the truth is...I DIDN'T change...your opinion of me did. I imagine I was like a beautiful diamond that seemed flawless while on display, but when examined more closely, it was discovered that it had flaws and was devalued. Every diamond is flawed, but what you perceive as a flaw, is what makes me shine...it's what makes me...me! This "flaw" is the place, aside from God, where I find happiness and love. 

Your love for me obviously had limitations, and that has been the most devastating part of this. I have mourned the people that I love more than anyone can ever fathom all the while celebrating life; it has been an emotional roller coaster to say the least. 

Although I lost many people, there were many who stayed and celebrated with me. People who love the one that I love--This has been a difficult, a monumental learning experience that has become the pivotal point in my life. Despite the pain I don't regret a moment of it.... I do mourn those I have lost, I love each of them just as much as I always have. I wish they would be a part of my life, but I accept the fact that they chose not to be...it doesn't change my love for them. I can only hope that they find the love, the peace, and the freedom that I have found.  

I am writing this blog because it is important to me to try and help someone, who's loved one has "come out", to know that they haven't changed....they have just chosen you to share their hearts treasure with, a treasure that has been buried and hidden from everyone else. They are finally free from a dark, confining place that has held them captive their entire lives and the fear of opening the door and walking out has been crippling. PLEASE don't validate their fears...but celebrate their courage.

PLEASE remember this..."Acceptance is not approval" You don't have to approve of their life to accept them for who they are. So keep in mind, Mom, Dad, brother, sister, friend... they need you now more than they ever have in their lives-- 

To the one struggling to gather the courage to step out...It is true, when I  came out I lost a lot but what I've gained makes it all worth while. I am so grateful for those who have stood by and for those whom I have gained. I have decided that if the people who love me want to be a part of my life, it is MY LIFE that they shall be a part of...nothing more, nothing less. 

Just Bb