God HATES me because I'm GAY.....

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us.
If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.--1 John 4:18-21

Today I was talking with a wonderful young woman, whom I've known for many years, and she told me a secret that she had kept most of her life. She guarded this secret with her life and tried just as hard to disguise it. In her attempts to camouflage what she thought an abomination, she portrayed herself to be someone that she wasn't and in her failed attempts to conform to what society considered "normal", her heart was repeatedly broken.  As a consequent, she developed thick callouses that toughened her once delicate heart. 

She texted me and said, "BTW I'm gay, and I refused to acknowledge this because I am convinced that God will hate me for it!" My heart was immediately broken because I understood this horrifying feeling....The God that I LOVE with everything is going to send me to hell because I'm gay...He can't love me...I'm an "abomination".... THIS HOPELESS thought...this LIE is responsible for countless suicides in the LGBT community. "GOD hates ME because I'm gay!!" 

I must admit that I felt a holy indignation instantly rise inside of me and instantly I thought, how do we combat this deadly lie? Well, we first have to find it's source, and unfortunately the source is....yep, you guessed it Christians, not all Christians, but the uninformed, religious, zealous, 'christians' that so obviously DON'T know the heart of Christ! This rejection is NOT coming from my GOD.... this hopelessness is NOT coming from my God... this hate is NOT coming from my GOD...this condemnation is NOT coming from my GOD!!! MY GOD is LOVE....perfect love! This nonsense is coming from those who claim to know Him best...the church! 


I am grieved by the anguish that it this young lady, along with countless others, endure.... Just a couple of weeks ago this same young lady showed me her arm where she had, in a drunken stupor, cut herself. She has begun to drink and cut herself to try and relieve some of the pain that is tormenting her on the inside; pain caused by the unbearable thought that God hates her because she's gay!! What an injustice...a violation...an outrage!!



WAKE-UP people!!! In your wicked attempts to be "righteous" you are responsible for many deaths. When you convince someone that they are innately evil because they are gay and, in their dispair, they go hang themselves, their blood is on your hands!!! YOU ARE IMPARTING FEAR!!! and God's Word clearly says that there is NO FEAR in love!!! You are ultimately KILLING people!!! Jesus came to give us LIFE...abundant life!! It was the enemy that came to KILL...who's side are you on anyway?


If God wants me to change something in my life He will let me know because I have a personal relationship with Him. MY RELATIONSHIP!!!

What if I told you that you were an abomination because your eyes are green...or because you are black...or because you're white--ALL of these things you have no control over. YOU were born that way--AS are WE!!! I mean, just the thought that God hates you because of something that YOU CANNOT change would be devastating to you! It could quite possibly be enough to cause you to simply give up on life...[think about that for just a moment]

I'm sick of people saying that homosexuality is a choice... I've got news for you, I CHOSE to be heterosexual most of my life because I didn't feel as if I could truly be me because "God would hate me" and as a result I became a drug addict! I had to be high in order to have any relationship with a man simply because it was so awkward and unnatural to me (YES I said unnatural)! As long as I was on drugs I was able to cope, but when I got clean I was forced to examine my heart and I wrestled with myself for a long time, because of the FEAR that I would GO TO HELL! 


I DIDN'T choose to be gay I JUST AM-- This is not something that I just "decided" to be; who in their right mind would choose to be a social reject...an abomination...a ____________ you fill in the black with whatever slur you choose-- there are thousands!!! 


Jesus NEVER condemned homosexuals NOT EVEN ONCE, so NEITHER do I--and please don't pull out those 6 verses to try and convince me otherwise until you DO SOME research and read them in the  CONTEXT in which they were written!! 
OAN: Jesus did, however, address divorce and might I remind you that approx.. 50% of all Christian marriages end in divorce--and NO ONE rejects or condemns them to hell--OH NO they just embrace them and officiate their next wedding in 18 to 24 months! 


...AND please don't let me hear you say, "I love the sinner but hate the sin" This statement does NOT FLY with me or any other homosexual because YOU consider homosexuality the "sin" so ultimately what you're saying is I hate you... UH hello I'm gay---so I AM what you HATE--THERE's no love in that statement it's just the "spiritually correct" thing you say to try and make yourself look and feel righteous! 

Nevertheless, I was extremely excited for this young lady as she took her first step out of that lonely, dark, isolated, closet and I pray that she is met with LOVE, the kind of love in 1 John 4.... PERFECT LOVE! The kind of love found in 1 Cor 13 NEVER FAILING--not RUDE and LOVE that bears ALL things!!! 


I write this blog, a Christian, as a way of pleading her case along with millions of others...Please STOP trying to change people and turn them into something they're not--This is producing depression, anxiety, drug addicts, alcoholics, and even DEATH--If anyone's going to perform any transformation of any kind, it will BE GOD...not you!! Just do what Jesus commanded, LOVE your neighbor...your straight neighbor AND your GAY neighbor!! 


I pray that you hear my heart and not my hurt--I pray that this triggers compassion in you and not anger--I pray that you can step into this young lady's shoes for just a moment and experience her distress and despair-- and I pray that you hear Jesus' heart whisper, "I died for her, just as I died for you. I forgave her, just as I have forgiven you. When I said, "It is finished" I meant it is finished." 

...You really have no idea the agony that we endure from those that are called to LOVE like HE loves.... Open your heart and set your religion aside--

GOD CANNOT HATE ME.... how can you???       

A Word of encouragment for my girl:

For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die.  But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him.  For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.  And not onlythat, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.--Romans 5:6-11

Just Bb

It's a beautiful LIFE!!!

I LOVE my life...All of it, the good the bad and the ugly. The way I see it is that it takes an assortment of the beautiful, the ugly, joy, tears, laughter, noise and quiet to make life interesting and stimulating. I have found that it's the moments of heartbreak that make me appreciate the instances of happiness. It's the chaos and noise that make the silence so peaceful. It's the ugliness that makes true beauty shine.

My life, as is yours,  is an array of all these things and I think it's foolish to try and avoid the "bad" or ignore the "ugly"...When we do this we take the beautiful things for granted; I mean it's the struggles in life that make the victories priceless ...It's the people that I have lost that make those that remain so valuable... It's the one's that have viciously broken my heart that cause me to cherish those who love and protect me...It's the darkness that makes the search for the light. 


You can't have the gorgeous without the vile...healing without pain....joy without tears.... illumination without the bleak shadows. It's the monstrous things in this world that make the finer things in life so EXQUISITE! After-all it is the black backdrop that makes a diamond shine!!! 

It's real easy to allow the difficulties and heartache, that is an unavoidable part of life, to harden us and make us bitter but it's these things that make the rest of life so sweet. I have found that if you love your life...it will love you back...and if you hate your life...well it will hate you back!

I read a quote that said, "We don't see things the way THEY are...we see things the way WE are." I'm happy with my life ALL of it, and because of this I see LIFE as a thing of beauty...simple really.

LIFE is too short to complain about what's gone wrong--CELEBRATE everything that's going right!! So when it's dreary and it rains just smile, because a colorful flower is just beneath the surface waiting to make it's debut!!!

Jesus says in Matt 5: 8-- Blessed are the pure at heart for they shall see God....Don't allow the bad things in this world to contaminate your heart, protect it from the ugly...KEEP your heart pure with forgiveness and full of LOVE and then....in EVERYTHING you will see GOD!!!

Just Bb

I'm coming out!!!!

But the men who had gone up with him said, “We are not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we.” And they gave the children of Israel a bad report of the land which they had spied out, saying, “The land through which we have gone as spies is a land that devours its inhabitants, and all the people whom we saw in it are men of great stature. There we saw the giants (the descendants of Anak came from the giants); and we were like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight.” --Num 13:31-33


God told Moses to send LEADERS from each tribe to spy out the land that He was giving them. For this, Moses chose the heads of each tribe and those chosen men then left the wilderness and went into the land of Canaan. Each came back with reports of milk and honey; they even brought back proof positive that the land was abundant with FRUIT.....BUT they also reported that the  land had fortified cities and GIANTS! (Lions..Tigers..and Bears OH MY!!!!)

Despite the milk, honey, and fruit, and not to mention the promise of the Father, they refused to go into this land...Too much CHANGE...TOO many CHALLENGES...TOO many GIANTS!!! They simply refused to "come out" going as far as to rise up against Moses even threatening to stone the positive Caleb and Joshua who trusted the word of God and were trying to lead them into this more fruitful place!

These people chose to remain in the humble abode of their microscopic wilderness over God's immense promised land!!! Never receiving for themselves God's inheritance--Never being as FRUITFUL as they could be--missing out on the vast bounty that is the reward of this change....

Change is inevitable unless you're stuck in this "wilderness" mindset which can be defined  as refusing to open up to bigger and better things. It's keeping your thoughts confined to what is comfortable in the limited understanding of your small mind.  Its when the very thought of adjusting this mindset breeds anger and even wars. We have a "grasshopper" mentality when we close ourselves off to the open spaces that change offers. This is simply an attempt to avoid any uncomfortable confrontation or, God forbid, self examination...or..or..or

changing our minds!!!! 

AHHHHHHH!!!!

Marilyn Monroe once said, "Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together." The wilderness was a good thing for a short time--(If for no other reason than for some of the home born slaves to die off so that change could even be an option) BUT now it's TIME to COME OUT!!  I know how scary change can be, but GOD is in control..it may seem as if EVERYTHING is falling apart--but sometimes that's what it takes takes to catapult us into bigger and better places!!!

TIMES they-are -a-changin' and you can either change with them or miss the blessing... God's calling His church out of the small wilderness and into a VAST land filled with milk and honey...Granted there are still many GIANTS (religion and close mindedness) that need to be conquered...But I myself am armed and, like Joshua and Caleb, I believe that with God's help WE can take 'em!!!

We have been in the wilderness (closet) far TOO LONG...it's time to "come out" and let go of that "grasshopper" mentality and FIGHT for OUR inheritance...OUR place in the promised land...OUR milk and honey!!! We have to PUSH past the religious renegades that want to continue walking in the same ritualistic circles around the same ole' mountain and become revolutionaries!


-Someone's gotta take the lead!!! MIGHT as WELL be us!! A new generation--a JOSHUA generation that leads the church into the PROMISED LAND!! 
I mean the wilderness is just NOT big (nor exciting) enough for ALL of us!! 


The Church is heading into a new land... a land where EVERYONE is welcome and no one is excluded!! It's the land that Christ died for....A land filled with LOVE  and ACCEPTANCE--that produces the fruit Jesus intended...UNITY!!!  

Will you follow Him into the promised land? Or will you remain silent... stuck in the wilderness with the religious people... sitting silently hidden on the back pew... where there are no giants.. no challenges... no fruit....NO INHERITANCE!!! Change is costly...challenging...and often times painful, but the reward...SWEET

I KNOW that God has called me to a land flowing with milk (love)  and honey (acceptance)! He will go before me and take care of the giants! I REFUSE to be SILENT and isolated in the wilderness I WILL NEVER sit on the back pew I'M A FRONT ROW kinda girl!! ---I'm standing up and COMING OUT!!! I'M CROSSING OVER!!!

STAY in the wilderness if you want BUT I'M COMING OUT and  I'm just looking for a giant or two to behead!!! Will you stay or will you go????

I am a CHRISTIAN and I AM GAY and every promise in the Bible belongs to me too...AND I'm going to RECEIVE them!! and there is NO GIANT that is going to stop me!! 

Just Bb

“Let us go up at once and take possession, for we are well able to overcome it.”

Num 13:30

That 'Love' thing...it does include gay people--JESUS

So...has anyone else noticed these annoying "Share if you love Jesus" FB statuses? Or "Like if you are a Christian" I think these are the biggest "cop out" any Christian can take part in. I mean it's easy to share a status but that's not what makes you a Christian at all...IT'S sharing the LOVE of Christ that qualifies you as a Christian. I am so sickened by sanctimonious pseudo christianity! People actually believe that if they wear a t-shirt or have a bumper sticker that says, "honk if you love Jesus" that they are Christians...UGH

People want to be all Christian on FB by sharing statuses & quoting Scripture and that's GREAT...FB can be used to encourage and exhort people...it touches a lot of people. BUT when you start BEATING people UP with The WORD of God--THAT'S BULLYING!!! PERIOD!!! FB is not a school playground where you can PUSH somebody around and make them feel like LESS of a human being (publicly) Because you THINK you're "right"!!! NOR is FB a PULPIT!!!!

 It's NO WONDER people are turning from Christianity--- I myself am a Christian...but I find myself apologizing for the actions of these renegades who are disguising themselves and justifying their actions with a STUPID.... "I love Jesus STATUS" ...so I can do or say whatever I want and be right all the while calling myself a Christian!! 

I can only imagine how Jesus would respond to the trendy "christianese terms" and "christian attire"... He would probably say something like, "Do you love me?" "FEED MY SHEEP" or "Love Me first, then LOVE EVERYONE...yes I mean EVERYONE as you love yourself." He would probably say, "Ugh...are you really wearing that, how embarrassing?" or "I want My people to hear My heart through your actions, not your horn." AND I'm certain He would say, "FB is the devil and that status about me is probably a virus that's going to crash your computer."


I read an awesome blog today... It was almost like I was reading about my life...(It's ironic that I have referred to myself as Jacob many times because of the wrestling match on the inside)..It will do you good to read it as well--MAYBE it will open your heart
http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html <-----READ THIS BLOG


I have NEVER endured so much rejection and bullying as I have over the past month. I have been deleted and blocked by the people that I loved most! I have been mutilated by their "double edged" sword as they posted verses aimed DIRECTLY at me....beating me with their Bible-- I couldn't believe that my 'christian' family was doing this to me...they hung a scarlet letter around my neck and burned me at the stake. All because they found out that I am gay....

Today as I scrolled down my FB page I saw one of these "I love Jesus" statuses posted by one of the few renegades that hasn't deleted me...The hypocrisy infuriated me and I wanted to comment and say, "Then why don't you love me?" 


Does your love come with limits?
Do you love people..until you get a glance inside their closets? Jesus loves me...He always has and He always will and He's always known WHO and WHAT I am. It's funny how your love for me changed when you met the real me....That my 'friend' is not Christlike at all!!! Jesus doesn't have a delete button...

Don't be STUPID.... 
Posting a status doesn't make you a Christian...being Christlike does. 

Just Bb  

JUST B...YOU

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”
― André Gide

Life is a peculiar thing... We tend to strive to have a cookie cutter life... to live the American dream--whatever that is-- Sometimes we get so caught up in conforming to the dreams of others that we lose, or even worse never find, our true selves. We get SO caught up in trying to live a "normal" life that sometimes we give up the things that make us who we are...we surrender them for the "greater good" letting go of our personal dreams, falling into the trap of society norms. 

What is normal anyway?--I'll tell you what "normal" is....it's ORDINARY....it's REGULAR....it's COMMON!!! Ick!!! All those things are so...so... NORMAL! I'm NOT normal and neither are you; you weren't created to be normal...you were created unique. You were created to be.......yeah you guessed it--- YOU!!

STOP trying to be "normal" because you're far from it--You're not ordinary--you're EXTRAORDINARY!!!! 

I was talking with a friend yesterday and I told him that all the things that he was trying to "fix" about his personality are the the very things that make him who he is... he's quirky and high strung and just FULL of personality I told him to STOP trying to be normal!!! It would be a shame for a colorful person like yourself to become dull and common... What a loss the world suffers when we lose our originality and SPICE--WE need a society FULL of colorful people, gray is sooo depressing and uneventful!! 

Trying to conform breeds insecurity and insecurity is crippling...it's an enemy that consumes people who are striving to be something that they are not. If people could just learn to embrace "who" they are (quirks and all) insecurity would be a thing of the past. I am who I am and I REALLY enjoy being me...there's no one else I would rather be! Granted I have some things in my personality that could use some improvements, I always want to grow and become a better 'ME'... but I refuse to be the me you want...that's not me at ALL!!! 

When you embrace who you are...you achieve an indescribably inner peace, and you step into LIFE an EXTRAORDINARY life--- YOUR LIFE! Be YOU...no one else will do.

I refuse to live a "normal" life...I'm going to live MY life...MY extraordinary life-- with the one that I love... with the people that love ME...It may not look like much to you...BUT I really don't care because it's mine.. 

Love me or hate me.... But ME is all you're going to get! 

Just Bb        

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous--how well I know it.--Psalm 139:14

                           

"OFF WITH IT'S HEAD!"--death to discrimination

OFF WITH IT'S HEAD!!!

The other day some friends and I were having a casual conversation with a stranger (emphasis on strange) we didn't know this lady from Adam yet she was telling us great details about herself and her recent trip to Mexico...THEN suddenly and without warning out came a despicable racial slur against not one but two ethnic groups and immediately I was outraged!! I heard one of the voices in my head shout, "OFF WITH HER HEAD!!" and I visualized myself jumping to my feet to defend those whom she was insulting!!!

I of course, having some tact...not to mention the fact that I had just driven down "deliverance road" and was surrounded by strangers...remained seated and exercised self-control. I was astounded at the audacity of this woman to assume that I too was an ignorant jackass that would accept and join in her bigotry. When in reality I wanted to say to this woman, "ma'am I am bi-racial" (just to watch her face drop) But again I kept my mouth shut and my sword sheathed. 


Racism--Bigotry--Discrimination of any kind infuriates me. I HATE hate...plain and simple whether it be against race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation (If this lady only knew who she was talking to:) I'm at a place in my life where I am wielding a sword and I'm prepared to draw it each time discrimination of ANY kind rears it's ugly head!!!  The longer we tolerate "intolerance" the longer we have to listen to it... 

I say, "OFF WITH IT'S HEAD!!!"                

Just Bb

Love is a verb....

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”
Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’...Matt 22:36-39

A verb is a word the describes an action or occurrence or indicates a state of being...
Love is a verb

Love is so much more than a mere word, it is an action. LOVE is the deepest and most guarded part of our very being. Love is the one thing we desperately search for and we fear it almost as much as we desire it!!!

 --Some people have locked love up behind walls that have been built to protect their hearts because the "actions" of others have caused them to go into a lonely self preservation mode...
--Others love with reckless abandon; embracing the unlovable. They NEVER allow past hurts to change or altar their pure and honest love for others....

I have been both. (and probably everything in between) 

Through a series of events in my life I decided at very young age that love was painful and I would protect myself from it at all costs...I would hurt anyone who tried to love me--I would "hurt" them before they could "hurt" me--this was my reasoning. (I thought I had it all figured out)...I refused to be a "victim" of love EVER again...

My heart was hard, and I was completely alone...I had decided that something must be horribly wrong with me as a person, so I had a very low opinion of myself...I mean, if I could not love myself, how on earth could someone else love me--It was a miserable existence that lasted for 28 years.  

Then on Sept. 26th 2003 I met God...That was the first time I experienced love in my entire life. I felt His perfect "AGAPE" love for me and I realized how wrong I had been. It was overwhelming and perfect...It was unconditional... I remember thinking WOW, how beautiful...I wanted EVERYONE to find this love!!!!

I was so "in Love"  and it was that love that demanded action...I couldn't keep this all to myself--I had to tell everyone...

I was a young Christian who had just found love...true love and this was all I could think about and all I could talk about. I quickly realized, as I was telling everyone about this love, that I had to do more than just say, "God loves you and so do I" I had to express this love through my actions... I mean I, like everyone else, have grossly overused the word "love" by saying things like, "I love shoes, and I love chocolate"

But this....THIS WAS SO MUCH MORE...this was true love...not a strong admiration or desire. This really meant something, and I desperately wanted people to feel the purity of Jesus' love through me so I began to look at what He did to show His love for people...

AND

That leads me to the woman at the well...Jesus didn't rebuke her for the 5 husbands or even for "shacking up" with the latest man in her life....NO He accepted her and LOVED her--NOR did He participate in the discrimination and hate that His fellow Jews had toward her and her people...Love is a Verb

AND

Then to the woman who was caught committing adultery.  Jesus didn't condem her though she was completely exposed... Caught in the very act of adultery...the "religious" people said STONE HER....but Jesus SIMPLY loved her and said I don't condem you, now go and sin no more; (something that I'm sure she, as a human, was completely unable to do) so He went a step further and DIED so that even SHE could be with Him for all eternity...Love is a VERB. 

Jesus NEVER turned His back on anyone EVER--as a matter of fact He made a special effort to be at that well--heck He even went into the tombs to minister to a man full of demons...a man that the entire community had isolated and condemned.--LOVE is a VERB

The Word clearly says...Love the Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as you love yourself--I'm convinced that the way we love others is a direct reflection of how much we love ourselves and, ultimately, how much we love GOD--

People are always searching for that "God experience"...that special "encounter with God" They are going from church to church....one revival after another....But they just can't seem to find it. 

I suggest you go stand by a well or in a tomb, where the broken, unwanted, and undesirables are--Go accept a human that an entire people has rejected--THAT is how you experience God--Go protect someone from the religious NUTS who have their hands full of stones...cocked and ready to kill.--THAT is how you experience God.--Go love someone that no one else will--THAT is how you experience God

After all, God is LOVE...
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.--1 John 4:8 

LOVE...that is how you experience GOD

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.--1 Pet 4:8

LOOK beyond, what you perceive to be sin or a fault, --GO DEEPER-- find their needs... 

Do you make people feel LOVED or victimized? 

Just Bb