My son, daughter, sister, brother, friend...is gay

Accepting my sexuality and coming out has been the most liberating experience of my life while simultaneously proving to be the most devastating. I will never forget the fears that were choking the life out of me as I began to contemplate opening the door to the closet that I had been hidden in for so long. I first had to break free from the chains of religion and this, next to my decision to accept Jesus Christ, was the most emancipating move I could ever make. It was exhilarating to have finally met someone for whom I was willing to step out of this vault that had become the tomb in which I had buried my identity.

I considered telling those closest to me, I was convinced that they would, after the initial shock, accept me and maybe even be happy for me, but this was not the case. When I walked out of the closet they walked out of my life....I don't understand this, I'm not a different person, the only difference is that they know me better.

I have heard many people say, "Brandiilyne is not who she used to be...she has changed." But the truth is...I DIDN'T change...your opinion of me did. I imagine I was like a beautiful diamond that seemed flawless while on display, but when examined more closely, it was discovered that it had flaws and was devalued. Every diamond is flawed, but what you perceive as a flaw, is what makes me shine...it's what makes me...me! This "flaw" is the place, aside from God, where I find happiness and love. 

Your love for me obviously had limitations, and that has been the most devastating part of this. I have mourned the people that I love more than anyone can ever fathom all the while celebrating life; it has been an emotional roller coaster to say the least. 

Although I lost many people, there were many who stayed and celebrated with me. People who love the one that I love--This has been a difficult, a monumental learning experience that has become the pivotal point in my life. Despite the pain I don't regret a moment of it.... I do mourn those I have lost, I love each of them just as much as I always have. I wish they would be a part of my life, but I accept the fact that they chose not to be...it doesn't change my love for them. I can only hope that they find the love, the peace, and the freedom that I have found.  

I am writing this blog because it is important to me to try and help someone, who's loved one has "come out", to know that they haven't changed....they have just chosen you to share their hearts treasure with, a treasure that has been buried and hidden from everyone else. They are finally free from a dark, confining place that has held them captive their entire lives and the fear of opening the door and walking out has been crippling. PLEASE don't validate their fears...but celebrate their courage.

PLEASE remember this..."Acceptance is not approval" You don't have to approve of their life to accept them for who they are. So keep in mind, Mom, Dad, brother, sister, friend... they need you now more than they ever have in their lives-- 

To the one struggling to gather the courage to step out...It is true, when I  came out I lost a lot but what I've gained makes it all worth while. I am so grateful for those who have stood by and for those whom I have gained. I have decided that if the people who love me want to be a part of my life, it is MY LIFE that they shall be a part of...nothing more, nothing less. 

Just Bb