Bad Farming....

Just 2 short years ago I was watching a dream be fulfilled...The vision that I had been working so diligently toward was unfolding before my eyes. I was watching the Z.A.C Center open it's doors and fill up with women who struggled with addiction. I had worked tirelessly and passionately toward this goal...and to watch it actually happen was amazing. WHEW, finally.

Although this dream had become a reality...and everything that I had hoped for had come true....I was exhausted, totally drained, and completely overworked. I was beginning to see things differently, my illusions of what Christianity was supposed to be and the reality of what it really was had finally crashed into one another..... I was done.... I left shortly after

Last week I was sitting in class when my professor made a remark that sparked an interesting thought. He was talking about the Civil War when he referenced the "overworked soil" of the South. Those two words rolled around in my mind for days... "overworked soil" I, of course, went to the parable of the sower and began to think about what it means to be a responsible and productive "sower" and I believe that I had a revelation.

Since leaving the church I have stood on the outside watching....observing...and, unfortunately, becoming more and more cynical about christianity as a whole. When I was pastoring, I was passionate about "reaching" people and "winning" them to the Lord...hallelujah!! I was always trying to find the perfect evangelical strategy to accomplish this world changing revival that my Pastor always foresaw on the horizon...So in this quest for souls I tried everything you could imagine, for instance:
1) Holy FB posts
2) Christian apparel
3) And even standing on a flatbed in the middle of the City to preach.
 In my religious arrogance I believed, wholeheartedly, that I was being a "light" in a dark sin-ridden world.---That was my perception....from the inside.

Now, let's talk about reality....the view from the outside.

There's a much clearer view when you look at things from every angle, it's more accurate and true to life. Now that I have stepped out of the church this is what I see:
1) "holier that Thou" FB statuses.... PLEASE stop telling me how great you are, how wonderful you "minister", and what a great "christian" you are! I think this is the most repulsive and unattractive strategy that one can use to try and "win" anyone.
2) Your Christian apparel makes you unapproachable.
3) Stop preaching at me...start loving me---then maybe I will actually see Christ in you and want to meet Him.

As I stand in the world today I want to shout, "I'm so sorry for the way that I behaved...Christ would never do that!" "Forgive me for my piousness and zealous behavior...Christ is NOTHING like that!" "I am still a Christian...but I'm NOT anything like this 'modern day christianity' that you have been experiencing" ---I apologize

I believe that the commercialization of christianity has caused "soil exhaustion"---in other words--bad farming. The church has been trying to force the ground (world) to receive the seed (Word) and now it's nearly ruined... I have a bit of news for you...If you don't start replenishing the land (the people standing on the outside), replacing vital nutrients (love, kindness, acceptance etc.) the future of the Church as we know it may not survive another generation....

Don't tell me that you're a christian, because I, along with much of the world, have become somewhat cynical and untrusting....show me who you are and Who you represent.

It is true---I am a hardened cynic when it comes to christianity.... but my belief in Christ hasn't changed. I used to be proud to proclaim my christianity, but now I feel as if I cannot say those words out-loud. So now I will simply make it my life's work to replenish the soil.

It's time to get back to the basics.... CHRISTIANITY 101....Love...it's simple really........................................            JUST

STOP force feeding faith
http://brandiilyne.blogspot.com/2012/08/tossing-seed-onto-stones.html