Temporary Angels--Pseudo Heroes

Throughout my life I have experienced many up and downs. Some of these shaky occasions occurred  in my own life but many in the lives of others. Being a minister for nearly a decade I have walked through some very rough times with a lot of people.  I have witnessed many acts of heroism and charity but I also watched others who would capitalize on the tragedies of others, I tagged these people "temporary angels."They live for those "ups" or those "downs", especially the downs, in the lives of others. They feast on people's misery, consuming it as if it were their own. 

These people rush into the situation (da-da-da-da super hero music) and appear to be a knight in shining armor...they are right by your side, doting over you, the victim of life's tragic realities.  They pretend that they are grieving, and more often than not, they barely know you, if at all. They put on a big show in front of others pirating attention, hoping that they can gain the same sympathies given to you. 

These pseudo heroes also feed off of knowing the details of your tragedy. They seem to pamper and pet you, but the truth is that they are gathering information. They love to go and brag about everything they know and all they've done for you, and the more intimate the detail the more it is coveted by these busybodies....AKA "gossips, blatherers, babblers and back-biters"

I suppose that their life is so void of...well.. LIFE... that they feel the need to feel important. They don't care that they gain "relevance" at the expense of your life's dilemma. No matter the reason, these people can and will cause you harm, if they get the chance, so just beware of these shallow clandestines. They can be very helpful, but if they get what they're looking for, fame--attention--THE SPOTLIGHT, it can prove to be very hurtful to you. 

These "temporary angels" light on you as soon as tragedy strikes in your life... they make a grand entrance displaying their wings and good deeds, but as soon as there is no more glamor to be had they depart as quickly as they came.  You know who the authentic angels are in your life, those are the ones that have always been there for you and will stay even when your life has plateaued. So cherish those and just allow the temps to come in and serve you during your time of need....just remember NOT to "let them in" 

Just Bb

Who The Hell are "THEY" Anyway!

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am constantly amazed and appalled by people who are continuously trying to change others. "THEY" have developed a mold that "THEY" consider to be respectable and acceptable. "THEY" are always giving others advise from their book of wisdom, quoting verses that always start with, "THEY say"....You know what I'm talking about... "THEY" walk up to you and say, with a concerned look, "You probably shouldn't do that...you KNOW what 'THEY' say" [insert pseudo wisdom...pulled straight from their....uh gluteus maximus] .  I just have one question...Who the hell are "THEY" anyway? AND why do "THEY" keep telling me to live my life according to "THEIR" standards BLAH!

Who made "THEY" the all knowing...I thought only Google knew everything!

PLEASE people!! LIVE and let LIVE...it's simple really! Show some tolerance for those that aren't as "perfect" as you!

I am a firm believer that we should live our lives as we see fit, according to our own convictions and credence and we should in turn give every other human the same liberties. The truth is, we have no place in the middle of someone else's life...unless of course they invite us in and ask for our advice, which they may or may not heed.

I am really sick of a society that is constantly trying to FORCE everyone to live by "THEIR" standards and beliefs. "THEY" are the one's that bully others with "THEIR" opinions, "THEIR" beliefs, or "THEIR" perceptions.

When I think of these people I get a visual of a steelworker...a strong man tirelessly beating a piece of metal that he has placed in a fire so hot that it has caused the metal to be manipulated and molded by force. This metal worker will pound and grind until the steel succumbs and becomes exactly what he wants it to be....he's relentless....This is who "THEY" are... The brow beaters, the back breakers, the holier than "THOUs"

I'm simply saying that if "THEY"were omniscient (that's all knowing to "THOSE" that didn't know) "THEY" would know to mind "THEIR" own business and stop pandering to the masses through social media; dropping pearls of wisdom and issuing unsolicited sage advise....

In LAYMAN'S terms ......Please keep your "THEY's" to yourself

Thank you...
Sincerely
Bb

My son, daughter, sister, brother, friend...is gay

Accepting my sexuality and coming out has been the most liberating experience of my life while simultaneously proving to be the most devastating. I will never forget the fears that were choking the life out of me as I began to contemplate opening the door to the closet that I had been hidden in for so long. I first had to break free from the chains of religion and this, next to my decision to accept Jesus Christ, was the most emancipating move I could ever make. It was exhilarating to have finally met someone for whom I was willing to step out of this vault that had become the tomb in which I had buried my identity.

I considered telling those closest to me, I was convinced that they would, after the initial shock, accept me and maybe even be happy for me, but this was not the case. When I walked out of the closet they walked out of my life....I don't understand this, I'm not a different person, the only difference is that they know me better.

I have heard many people say, "Brandiilyne is not who she used to be...she has changed." But the truth is...I DIDN'T change...your opinion of me did. I imagine I was like a beautiful diamond that seemed flawless while on display, but when examined more closely, it was discovered that it had flaws and was devalued. Every diamond is flawed, but what you perceive as a flaw, is what makes me shine...it's what makes me...me! This "flaw" is the place, aside from God, where I find happiness and love. 

Your love for me obviously had limitations, and that has been the most devastating part of this. I have mourned the people that I love more than anyone can ever fathom all the while celebrating life; it has been an emotional roller coaster to say the least. 

Although I lost many people, there were many who stayed and celebrated with me. People who love the one that I love--This has been a difficult, a monumental learning experience that has become the pivotal point in my life. Despite the pain I don't regret a moment of it.... I do mourn those I have lost, I love each of them just as much as I always have. I wish they would be a part of my life, but I accept the fact that they chose not to be...it doesn't change my love for them. I can only hope that they find the love, the peace, and the freedom that I have found.  

I am writing this blog because it is important to me to try and help someone, who's loved one has "come out", to know that they haven't changed....they have just chosen you to share their hearts treasure with, a treasure that has been buried and hidden from everyone else. They are finally free from a dark, confining place that has held them captive their entire lives and the fear of opening the door and walking out has been crippling. PLEASE don't validate their fears...but celebrate their courage.

PLEASE remember this..."Acceptance is not approval" You don't have to approve of their life to accept them for who they are. So keep in mind, Mom, Dad, brother, sister, friend... they need you now more than they ever have in their lives-- 

To the one struggling to gather the courage to step out...It is true, when I  came out I lost a lot but what I've gained makes it all worth while. I am so grateful for those who have stood by and for those whom I have gained. I have decided that if the people who love me want to be a part of my life, it is MY LIFE that they shall be a part of...nothing more, nothing less. 

Just Bb